The storm

The storm hit us late yesterday afternoon; we had one system pass just south, the second system right over us, and the third system just north of us. 200 people are known to be dead at this point, according to the news, and this has broken the record (I believe) for sheer number of tornadoes in the month of April.
And that was in ONE DAY. What's next? I remember seeing/hearing/feeling the aftershocks of Katrina, after it hit Florida, Mississippi, and Louisiana. I'm not aware of any hurricanes forming yet, but if yesterday's superstorm is anything to go by...
*shudder*
I need to stop talking now, and hope the sky doesn't turn green again.

...

Blackness Shifts
Her cry comes forward
Loose the Rage

Before the Storm

Taken either Sunday or Monday

Resolve and Reminisce

This entry is a method of me resolving and analyzing things, and saying things I flinch at saying in real life.

I have been incredibly impulsive for a long time; saying thing that I didn't mean, lashing out when I had no right, etc. Here are the reasons I think I do what I do or don't do what I don't do:

Impulsive action (ie a blunt and probably hurtful letter I wrote to someone I care about deeply): either a defense mechanism or being caught up by what someone else has said

Lashing out: overload of emotions that have been bottled away during the past 6 years

Burying myself in a game: so I don't have to deal with myself and see my glaring faults

Watch ghost shows: the paranormal interests me

And a few very blunt facts about me:

I see crying in myself as weakness, while it's a strength  or a tool for others. Why? Because my step-grandfather told me to stop crying while I was having a meltdown. And (somewhat) crying led to me getting in trouble for something that someone else blew out of proportion.
My step-grandfather has used tears against me several times, dredging up a past that they have LIED to me about for fifteen years. My youth pastor blew something as innocent as a good friend calming me down so out of proportion that he had his wife tell me to not email or call said friend anymore (I emailed him when I didn't see him at church, and when he asked me to; I didn't have his phone number.)

-sigh- Anyways. Moving on.

I despise being lied to; that is the fastest way to lose my trust. This is a principle I gained directly from my father.
...
I'm ranting. I need to stop.