Whisper

Whisper, whisper, in the dark.
The daily world is rendered stark.
The sun is gone, the cold descends
With a yawn, their sleep begins.
Whisper, whisper, in the dark
Winding through the barren park.
The barren trees, the fallen snow,
The quiet holds, both high and low.
Whisper, whisper, in the dark
All my world is rendered stark.
Winter's here, the blanketing snow,
The quiet falls, and all will know.

JOB!!!!

I am officially a member of the working force, having gotten a job at the local corn maze/haunted maze near my school. I will be haunting, scaring all kinds of people (I hope...)... that's my job anyway.
I will be recycling my costume from last year, adding some bits and removing others. I will hopefully be able to share pictures with those of you who have my email, and who have given me permission to email you, once the season is going and if I can get pictures. :)
*happy dance*

School

I start tomorrow.
Why tomorrow and not today?
Paperwork.
Anyways. I have my binder(s), backpack, lunchbox, lunch (not made yet), pencils, ruler, paper, combination lock (for my locker), School map, Graph paper, etc, etc.
Wait...
I kinda... need my calm, level head too, don't I.
<sarcasm> Jooooy.</sarcasm>
Well, We'll see. Maybe I'll do well, maybe I'll be overwhelmed. All I know is, I'm in for a culture shock.

How

How can i speak without anger or dread
How can i say what needs to be said
How can i not cause fear or blame
How can i stay and remain the same
Your eye is shut
Your ear is closed
What ever luck
Was it that you chose
I scream and i shout
I weep and i fear
How can you doubt
What i say here
You say there is choice
While i find there is none
When i try it to voice
I can only to one
Do not what you say
But say that you do
There is not a way
That i can be you
Hear my scream
Hear my cry
Where is the beam
To aid me to fly

Story begun last night at 9:30 ish...

Then continued this morning at 3

The sight that greeted him in his... no, their room, made him smile gently. She was sprawled out on top of the covers (in a peach, velveteen sleep shirt, with her purple sheer tank and a pair of magenta panties underneath), apparently trying to grip the last threads of slumber as her body began "booting up", as she called it. He called her name quietly, and snorted as she reached out to smack their alarm clock. She rolled to her knees; scanning the room, she squinted at him long enough to roughly identify him, then went hunting for her glasses on her side of the king-sized bed.
"Should I even bother trying to talk to you right now? Or do I wait until you've had your shower and some coffee?" He asked, purely to hear what nonsense-word she would grumble at him.
"Ih..." she proceeded to grumble at him, increasingly so when her glasses slid off of the nightstand and into the dark world under their bed. Chuckling, he walked over to where she was fumbling around, reached back to the normal spot, and withdrew with her glasses in hand.
"Go shower. I'll put on coffee and set out some cereal." He purred into her ear, sliding her glasses up her nose and into their rightful place.
"Rrrrt..." she purred in reply, smiling gently before going to do as she was told.

She came downstairs in jeans and a camisole, pulling her hair back into a ponytail to keep it out of her face.
"How long had you been home?" She asked sweetly, going to kiss his cheek before grabbing a cereal box and the skim milk.
"About ten minutes. My travel buddy drove so I could sleep. You want coffee, or tea?" He answered, smiling at her.
"This early in the day? Coffee, please. So, how did the meeting go?" She gratefully accepted the mug of piping hot liquid, and proceeded to add several spoonfuls of creamer and sugar.
"Well enough. They're convinced that dividing into smaller businesses is the way to go... more earnings all around and all that... but... well, I'm gonna miss coming home to the sight I saw this morning."
She blushed now, her pale skin flushing to a rosy pink usually only seen in the chill of winter.
"W.. I... am not going to try to retort." She stammered, sending a half-hearted glare at him.
"What~? You look cute when you're still half-asleep." He teased, causing her to blush further. She grumbled at him again, before sticking a spoonful of cereal into her mouth, followed by a sip of her toothache-in-a-mug coffee.

[Note: I do actually make random noises like that, usually as a reaction to something or when I just really don't have anything to say. I really didn't mean for her to sound like a catgirl or something...]

Child of Insomnia

Sleepless
Hopeless
Lost not found
Seeking
Looking
All around
Light gone
Dark song
Waking
Shaking
Want to dream

Awake

Awake.

Mine soul within me.

Awake.

Melt thy ice, be free.

Awake.

Thy song hath ceased.

Awake.

Thou art at peace.

Awake.

Stir now, O Mind.

Awake.

On you they dined.

Awake.

Safety is here.

Awake.

No need to Fear.

Awake.

Nothing left to Lose.

Awake.

Come forth, o Muse.

Awake.

Market square, knoxville tennessee

Could not resist.

((I ran out of mana XD))

Nightmare

Fear of rejection
Fear of loss
It is true love
But what's the cost
I love him
Does he love me
With this darkness
Can there be "we"
It's not him
It's me I hate
Can "we" be saved
No, it's too late
I am lost
Not to be found
He cant see
I'm in the ground
Love came fast
But came too late
I'm the one
He should hate

Dream?

Just a shell
Nothing more
Consumed by hell
To the core
Lenore was dead
So am I
I, the one
who wished to die
Iron bells
Ring in dismay
Failing to tell
Tis the day
The open grave
The black-donned troupe
Twelve souls brave
this endless loop
With a snap
She does not nap
And resumes to tap
The keys in her lap
And that's a wrap.

What happens when your creative well runs dry?
What happens when you cannot force a tear from your eye?
What happens when you cannot bear to sing?
What happens when your dreams do not take wing?
What happens when you think that truth cannot be true?
What happens when you do not know who is really you?
What happens when your mind becomes a mobius loop?
What happens when happiness has flown your mental coop?
What happens when it grows so dark, you cannot even see?
What happens when you truly wish that you would cease to be?
What happens when you cannot feel hope or joy or light?
What happens when your soul is caught in an eternal night?
Reality shatters.
Nothing matters.
You must begin anew.
Dream shatters.
Nothing matters.
You must discover you.

Dream I had a while ago

She swiftly made her way down the university hallway. Agh! Sometimes she absolutely hated her cellphone; she'd made a point of turning it off before the ceremony, but it had turned on and made a point of playing metal during the prayer.
Of course, her grandmother was in the parking lot, waiting for her to try and leave to spare the others any further embarrassment. So, she turned mid-stride down the hall. She might not have access to her car, but the busses were still available. She strode purposefully past Michael, who turned and screeched "Git yaw ayss back heyah!" as she made her quick escape. She reached the bus about ten minutes later, with Mike and Hunter in hot pursuit. As the bus door closed, she heard her grandmother yell "Young lady, you come back here right now!"
'You don't own me anymore. I'll respect you, but I'm not following your orders anymore.' She thought, taking a seat in the back right corner.
She reached the hotel thirty minutes later, with her phone buzzing no less than fourty-five times. She silenced it after the first five minutes.
Five minutes later, she locked the door to her hotel room, stripped off the tight black dress she'd been forced to wear, and slipped into the bathroom.
A long hot bath and a change of clothes (sans shoes and socks; she wasn't going anywhere) later, she stretched out on her bed and unsilenced her phone; she winced at the number of messages she had. She cleared the list, and dialed one of the three phone numbers she had starred.
"Hello?"
"Hey..."
"Oh, hey... I thought you said the reception was going to be two or three hours long?"
"I kind of... skipped out?"
"What happened?"
"My phone decided to be rude, and interrupted the prayer."
"Ah... right... so you bailed?"
"Yeah... so how is your day going?"
"Pretty good, actually... "

As they continued to talk, felt some weight lift out of her chest; they talked for a good five hours, switching to VOIP and playing a game somewhere in between.
---------
Yes, this was an actual dream I had. I changed the format a bit so it was more story-like to read.
:)

Breakdown

What's the darkness without light?

What's the day without night?

Just a void, nothing new

It's just you, without you

Dawn is broken

What is sun?

Night eternal;

Only one.

Traps are laid,

Snares are set.

Wait, oh wait,

Not ready yet.

You set those traps, you set them well;

time for you to see your pers'nal hell.

You took your rope, you made a noose,

You stretch out long, you hang there loose.

The dawn is broken,

What is sun?

The night's eternal,

there's only one.

Your traps are laid,

The snares are set

Wait, please wait,

I'm not ready yet.

Now you've fallen,

No way out.

Even though you scream,

And though you shout.

Now you break down

and cry aloud.

Where's that Strength

Of which you're so proud?

Dawn is broken,

Sun disappeared

The night has come

Which you so feared

The traps have triggered

The snares have sprung.

And to think,

You've just begun.

Your dawn is broken, you're breaking down

Your dawn is broken, you're breaking down...

The storm

The storm hit us late yesterday afternoon; we had one system pass just south, the second system right over us, and the third system just north of us. 200 people are known to be dead at this point, according to the news, and this has broken the record (I believe) for sheer number of tornadoes in the month of April.
And that was in ONE DAY. What's next? I remember seeing/hearing/feeling the aftershocks of Katrina, after it hit Florida, Mississippi, and Louisiana. I'm not aware of any hurricanes forming yet, but if yesterday's superstorm is anything to go by...
*shudder*
I need to stop talking now, and hope the sky doesn't turn green again.

...

Blackness Shifts
Her cry comes forward
Loose the Rage

Before the Storm

Taken either Sunday or Monday

Resolve and Reminisce

This entry is a method of me resolving and analyzing things, and saying things I flinch at saying in real life.

I have been incredibly impulsive for a long time; saying thing that I didn't mean, lashing out when I had no right, etc. Here are the reasons I think I do what I do or don't do what I don't do:

Impulsive action (ie a blunt and probably hurtful letter I wrote to someone I care about deeply): either a defense mechanism or being caught up by what someone else has said

Lashing out: overload of emotions that have been bottled away during the past 6 years

Burying myself in a game: so I don't have to deal with myself and see my glaring faults

Watch ghost shows: the paranormal interests me

And a few very blunt facts about me:

I see crying in myself as weakness, while it's a strength  or a tool for others. Why? Because my step-grandfather told me to stop crying while I was having a meltdown. And (somewhat) crying led to me getting in trouble for something that someone else blew out of proportion.
My step-grandfather has used tears against me several times, dredging up a past that they have LIED to me about for fifteen years. My youth pastor blew something as innocent as a good friend calming me down so out of proportion that he had his wife tell me to not email or call said friend anymore (I emailed him when I didn't see him at church, and when he asked me to; I didn't have his phone number.)

-sigh- Anyways. Moving on.

I despise being lied to; that is the fastest way to lose my trust. This is a principle I gained directly from my father.
...
I'm ranting. I need to stop.

...

So, I discovered something today: me + lots of coffee early in the day + an afternoon without caffeine = dizziness which becomes a headache which becomes dizziness again.
Therefore, I am going to do my best to avoid coffee and enegry shots from now on.

Sunset, 03/17/2011

Brand New Blog

~The black, crisp text
Marching o'er this, her webpage
It sings of freedom.
                                                                                
So, to those of you who don't know me, but know about DA, I'm Wulfpup12. Yeah, the non-subscriber who went apeshit when the admins lied about the ads they run.Yeah, that was me. I'm gonna be posting my stuff here as I go; hopefully I can be better here than I was on DA. To my friends, I'll be here from now on. To trolls, Bugger off.
That's it for now,
End of Line.